The Return

Can love of God be stronger than human love?

Jana is convinced that her faith is unbreakable. This conviction becomes stronger still in 1989, when, on the threshold of adulthood, she is granted her freedom with the change of regime in the former Czechoslovakia, and she can finally live in a convent. She joins the sisters full of hope and determination, but also under certain illusions. Everyday religious life will chip away at these illusions until they disintegrate, and Jana will find herself reassessing her unfulfilled, painful relationship with Viktor, in which much remained unsaid. First and foremost, however, she must answer questions put to her by the mysterious, unbridled Karin, who one day appears at the convent among the old women. Jana’s conception of true love blurs and changes dramatically. As for the society of sisters, it must ask itself daily how in a transformed world it can return to its original mission.

Woven from many well-made, subtle narrative threads, this novel gives the reader a glimpse of a mysterious, normally inaccessible world, whose mundaneness is not at all in line with generally shared ideas. Its picture of life in a convent may seem uncomplimentary in places, but it passes no judgment.

This work is primarily a portrait of a person with all the light and darkness their existence brings. Last but not least, it is a fascinating love story that shows human love to be an untameable, many-faced beast forever seeking a mate...

Comprising an authentic narrative based on detailed knowledge of its setting, this book is neither autofiction nor autobiography. And although it addresses the intimate relationship of two teenage girls, it cannot be described as lesbian fiction.

‘Petra Dvořáková’s books excel by their sensitive portrayal of the human psyche, relationships and internal conflict. The author manages her language brilliantly, and her portrayal of emotions and everyday situations is always authentic. Her stories captivate by their profundity, empathy, humour, and ability to address important topics that are often taboo.”

Martin Stöhr, editor, Host Publishers

‘Although I lived in a convent for several years, this is not my story, nor that of any particular sister,’ says the author. ‘What is authentic is the experience and depiction of everyday life in a convent, where women of all ages, personalities and ways of thinking come together. The reality of such a life is never revealed in fleeting encounters with nuns. It can be glimpsed only when one lives among them for some time.’

Foreword

When I entered a convent in the early 1990s as a fourteen-year-old, what I experienced was beyond the imagination of an adult, let alone a child. Only at a distance of many years have I begun to examine it again and differently. Part of this examination is this novel. It is not my own story or the story of any particular sister. Its individual characters are fictional, but the everyday life of a convent, where women of all ages, personalities and ways of thinking come together, is authentic. The reality of such a life is never revealed in fleeting encounters with nuns. It can be glimpsed only when one lives among them for some time.

Because of my experience, I will never again view nuns as exceptional beings. I cannot see them as heroines, even though there have been heroines among them. I do not see them as kind and merciful, although kind, merciful women can be found in convents. Nor do I see them as cruel and heartless, although some are. I see them primarily as people who, due to their beliefs, find themselves in the confined space and unnatural constellation of a religious community. I have tried to capture the reality and authenticity of their lives, as I experienced them at the time. I am aware that I have drawn on my experience as an individual.

Although this depiction of the everyday life of a convent may seem uncomplimentary in places, it does not deserve condemnation. Above all, it is a portrayal of a human life with everything it must bear. It shows people whose qualities and natures can oscillate and deviate to assume every position a person can imagine for herself. That nuns are no exception to this is highlighted by the time at which I show their community – a time that was unusual and extremely complicated in many ways.

Petra Dvořáková, summer 2024